Juno and The Paycock by Alfred Hitchcock

Double-top cock in a charity shop. Well done me! Never even heard of this Hitch film before today.

Mitchell and Webb snooker commentators

This was being read by the gay one at the start of the gay commentator sketch.

Cerys Matthews is Cockahoop about something

I don't know what she has to be so pleased about - its a pants record that barely manages to disguise the croaky and inadequate quality of her horrid welsh voice. And she copped off with that Bannerman fool during "I'm a nonentity" which makes her beneath any more of my contempt.

Naughty Edward Hancock

A publicity seeker called cock. He's a very, very naughty boy.

A twist on a familiar tale

Shorty greasy spot spot

A cock and bull story

Geordie / cockney tiff

So, who's man enough to tell those cuddly Geordie footie fans that the club isn't theirs, never has been theirs and never again will ever be theirs or anyone elses who doesn't have millions and squillions of cash to actually pop to the local estate agent and buy it.

And Kevin Keegan really isn't all hes cracked up to be either.

Hermione Cockburn

A new star in the cocking firmanent. Miss hermione Cockburn who was to be seen slavering and fawning over Sir David Attenburger on telly the other night. Oooooo Sir dave, you're so cool and can I have your gold card and BA travel pass when you retire please?

Hancock - The Radio Ham

Banzai!!

Which cockney is lying?

All of them.

Probably.

HOI!!

Sheila Hancock on Room 101

From "how to keep chickens" monthly

Here he is again!

Amy Willcock

Vicky Pocock - Baldrick's make up lady

The Peacock Theatre from The Evening Standard

Never a shortage of cocks on Question of Sport

Cock-a-doodle asbo

Naughty cockerels - Gordon Brown will come and imprison you with all the others master criminals if you don't stop it!

Jon Thomas followed by Scott Handcock

Funny how these double entries sneak up on you from behind sometimes isn't it?

From Il Cocko Titchy. What a great lad.

Hancock DVD

A peacock carp

From one of our growing band of intrepid collectors - probably from Brazil or something - but actually captured off of the telly.

Gary Meacock

Pincock scores for Blackburn or something

Sarah Hitchcock

Off of the telly - can't remember what though. Can't have been very memorable.

Weather Eye

Strictly speaking, ICG is just capturing things for the second time. I got this one ages ago, but this is a better picture.

Leacock og 78

What a pillock. Captured and humiliated by ICG.

From the Radio Times again!

A lovely clip of cock from Eurotrash

Serenity - bad film with a man called cock in it

Cocky he might be - but he still got well and truly locked up

ICG being all cultured again!

Some things just don't need me to comment

Two cocks

From Globe trotting Prof Nev - a man behaving like a dog with two cocks

Kellogg's advert - speaks for itself really

Jarvis Cocker on telly

Captured by Il Cocko Grande during a particularly attentive friday night in front of the telly. Cocking can be done wherever you are you know!

GQ or some other pseudo top shelf mag or other

Brent Cockbain

A porn star's name if ever I heard one!

Malcolm Laycock - I'm sure he's been captured before but I can't remember where!

Cocking a snook at the past

Peacock and Professional

From the daily hatemail. I wasn't reading myself of course, oh no god forbid!

From Soap sad bastard weekly

Tv quick soap special - what's going to happen in Corrie next week, just in case you are too bloody dumb to work it out for yourself when you actually watch it. Or just read the mag and then don't watch it at all - go out for a nice walk or for a pint or something instead!

Fiona cockerill

chloe's equally underemployed sister

Chloe Cockerill

She's got a job, but no-one knows what she actually does!