Hancock's Hour

Two new cock-grapplers from today's Guardian

Firstly, Hugh Fearnley-Whatsisname, looking rather uncomfortable and slightly ashamed of his big cock.
















Followed by Jamie Oliver who seems entirely at ease and rather self satisfied with his big feathery fowl.

You cocky lot

Another entry from the ever reliable Sun!

Dick Pound

Radio Times yet again

Malc strikes again!

They should grill this fuc**rs gonads over an open fire whilst he is still attached to them.

Another one from the ever reliable Sun!

From The Times

A lovely strutting cockerel from yesterday's Times weather watch column. Does someone really make a journailsitic living doing things like this?

Jeremy Clarkson's huge crowing cock on QI.

Alan Davies getting frustrated by trying to differentiate between the 6ft cock in front of him and the 6ft cock behind him. Basically Alan, they are both very simliar. Two enormous cocks; one of them is bald and fat.

Lorraine Chase the loverble cockernee sparrer

From some crumby soap magazine or other. She's a born and bred cockney apparently - and boy has she milked a successful career from such a simple starting point.

Luton airport oo ee oo......

From The Sun 17-10-07

Good old Sun - reliable as ever!

Gordon Brown joins in the cocking fun

Some people will go to almost any lengths to get themselves involved in the glorious sport of cocking. Here's a superb example of our esteemed new Prime Minister who tangled everyone up in his web of deceit, pretending that he was going to call an election, when really all he wanted to do was spin himself an opportunity to create his very own entry on our catalogue of cocks.

Good to see he can at least be trusted to get his priorities right.

Also pictured (for which I apologise profusely) are the gangly, barely human appendages of that awful, awful woman Victoria Beckham. She's dreadful; I wish she would stay in Los Angeles with her peculiarly named children and crocked husband.

BBC Four show about Cocks

Shaun earns his stars as a true Cocking Ninja with this snapshot from Saturday night telly. The dumbed down dolts are watching Strictly Come Prancing on BBC1. All the men of disctinction and taste are watching programmes about cocks on BBC4.

Surely everyone in advertising is a complete and utter cock - how difficult must it have been to pick a top ten from such a rich source of raw material?

Cocky spawn of the Celtic tiger

Another entry from Ireland. No idea about what this all means!

Mr Woodcock

More formulaic clap-trap from Hollywood to insult our intelligence and pack the multiplexes. Why would anyone demean themselves to such an extent by forking out the best part of £10 to watch drivel like this?

The Simpsons

From yet another in the growing army of Cocking Colleagues - Sara this time - well done for spotting Matt Groening's yellow and increasingly unamusing cartoon caricatures trying to muscle in on our world of cock.

Saturday's Telegraph Magazine

Another in a growing series of cock captures from Nicki. At last, an offer in a weekend supplement worth having: cock cutlery; very poor quality cock cutlery at that. Just what my kitchen is missing!

Mystery cock man

Another cock-based conundrum to get your teeth into. This is a bit easier than I would have preferred, but who is this mystery man called cock?

Mel Gibson's Cock

A genuine coup for Things Called Cock - who would have thought that the anti-semitic, rambling alcoholic's cock would be so prominently on display for all to see duting family viewing times on Saturday afternoon. Even more damning is the clear evidence of old sugar tits himself in bed with another man. Shocking!

Cocksedge

What better way to make use of a newly delivered telephone directory? Look for someone with Cock in their surname, take a photo of it and then chuck the directory in the bin. From an newly enthused Cocking Colleague in the north - welcome Charlie boy to your new family.

Malcolm Elliott the cyclist

Tim's mate sprinting through Cockerham.

Lucy Meacock in The Manchester Evening News

Never Mind The Buzzcocks

A skilful an patiently stalked piece of cock hunting from Nicki. Bill Bailey looking bemused - hardly suprising when he's appearing on a comedy pop quiz with the classical actress Imelda Staunton and tennis ace Rogfer Federer.

National Geographic for Kids

I think the answer might have the word cock in it somewhere? Start them early on their cock collecting career - well done National Geographic.

Who is this man?

Anyone who guesses might get a prize!

A Cock and Bull Story

Shown on BBC a week or so ago - no story to speak of, but some entertaining banter between Rob Whatisname and Coogan.

Lewis Hamilton in The Sun

I think you'll find that its the spaniard who is the cocky one, not the blessed Lewis Hamilton - all hail to him (until he fails to finish on the podium anyway, at which point the british press will crucify him for the loser he obviously is)!

The Evening Standard - 9th July 2007

That Alastair Campbell - who'd have thought he was a closet cock colleague? Well done Alastair - tell it as it is, just like a good northern lad!

Crocked cockney

Harry Potter

Babcock

Tony Hancock on an egg

Makes a change from him being on a real downer.

Alfred Hitchcock

Kayospruce

Grocock

Ian Adcock

Did he? Lucky fellow!

Cock puzzle

Unbelievably, this was also from the Radio Times! Even if the telly is complete rubbish, its still worth buying for the concentration of cocks in one place. Genius.

Jarvis Cocker - media superstar

Twenty years of top 20 hits and you too could appear on the front cover of teh Radio Times. Next stop Woman's Weekly.

Emily Cockayne